My friend Nathan Weathington wrote me his top ten after reading my post. Funny shit!!!
1.New word for 2011: Idiarrhea – When someone has too many damn ideas and never actually does shit. This condition tends to occur in coffee shops and while sucking on a bong.
2. In 2011 someone will be shot for using the work cliché “thinking outside the box” —the most overused and ironic of dumbass work metaphors. Try “Thought Grenade” douche bag.
3. Eat more 12% Yogurt.
4. Missionary position will once again lose its luster and old school moves like the ‘rodeo clown’, the ‘wheel barrow’ and ‘ the drunk Carney eatin’ a corndog’ will see a resurgence.
5. The world will finally catch on that people who do coffee enemas are indeed sticking coffee up their ass. Fair trade or not, that crap is disrespectful. And you know Juan Valdez is pissed. Freaks.
6. Out – skinny metrosexual guys in straight leg jeans. Why? Because you look like a complete fucktard, that’s why.
7. Out – idiotic over competitive parents whom actually believe their kids know sign language. It smells like he said he shit his pants if you ask me.
8. Organic tampons will cause a vegan vagina scare that sweeps the nation. A move towards tofu penises is in the works until women realize it is like getting a gynecological exam by one of the Muppets. A switch back to good old-fashioned meat will happen before the year is out. But I could be completely off base on this one.
9.“Where the Hell were your Parents?” will become the funniest fuckin’ book ever written making Nathan Weathington a household name and fulfilling his dream of being a professional shit-joke writer.
10. Canadians will be shocked to find out that American beer actual does have the same amount of alcohol as Canadian beer. They will also discover there is this thing called the Internet that you can look up old wives tales to see if they are true or not.
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